Mahatma Gandhi

Dear Gandhiji:

Forgive me for not calling you Bapu, but to me, we have too many relatives and not enough monikers. We have people called Bapu (you), we have Chacha (Nehru), we have Amma (Indira Khan, her daughter-in-law, Antonia Maino and Jayalalitha), we have Anna (Jagan, the CM of Andhra) and how can one forget Didi (Momta, the part Hindu, part Muslim, part who knows, CM of Bengal). Shortly, we will have a Kaka and Kaki (Rahul and Priyanka) and many more such relatives we didn’t know we had (nor wanted). Anyways, If you were alive today, you’d have wanted to die; so, in a way, it’s good you’re not here!

Hindus wanting to assert themselves and asking for respect from other communities! Muslims being asked to be on equal terms with the rest of the populace!! You had specifically asked all Hindus to be ready to die and not to oppose the Muslim population, and here they’re doing exactly the opposite! Even though you died saying “Hey Ram”, you had never wanted the Ayodhya Temple to be built as, it would mean “hurting” Muslim sentiments, and you would never want that, even if it meant hurting Hindu sentiments! And here, we have, the Ram Temple being built in a place where there was a mosque (note I said WAS). That was brought down by some Hindus who didn’t hear a word you said.

Your photograph is probably the most popular photo within the government offices. Regardless of whether the state is governed by your beloved Congress, or those communists or worse, Hindu renaissance parties, the photograph remains. Government employees, who are very low paid officials, make up for the low pay with extra earnings from those that need some work done. After all, it’s only fair that if some one wants her/his work done, (s)he should be generous enough to compensate the government employee. To call that a bribe is ridiculous! You would have approved calling this “fair compensation for a job well done.” Kind of long, but having read your books, you’d definitely have used these words. All this “fair compensation for a job well done” happens under your approving eyes and smile!

No offense, Mr Gandhi, but your book “The Story of My experiments With Truth” was anything but. The 150 pages felt like 3000 pages without being really able to figure out where the truth was. I can understand; you needed to sell books to make some money to allow you to live a life with Kasturba and the other women (you lucky dog, you!!) you “experimented your truth with.”

We now have another tribe with the same last name that you have. You should know, since you gave that name to Indu (Indira Nehru) when she married Feroz Khan. They love that name so much that Indu’s sons, Rajiv and Sanjay, both kept those names even though they were Khans. Their kids, bless their hearts, have continued to keep those names. Infact, the great grandson of Indu, born to Priyanka (aka Bianca) Indu’s grand-daughter, gave her son the last name of Gandhi (although that should be Vadra).

Indian people, bless them, have even then overlooked these small discrepancies within the family, and have accepted them. Both the grandchildren have made names for themselves as staunch Gandhians. Be it Raul (also called Rahul and Pappu) or Bianca (also called Priyanka), there is no shortage of intellect in that family. High IQs and education beyond imagination, the two are totally capable of handling the pressures involved in ruling, sorry governing, a country! Much like their great-grandfather, your close friend and associate Jawaharlal Nehru, for who you ruined, Subhashchandra Bose and Vallabhbhai Patel, these two have an entire court in their palace that is adorned by people of stature like Digvijay Singh, P Chidambaram, Manishankar Aiyer, Kapil Sibal and others who would go to any lengths to keep their masters happy. The only person missing is YOU! To compensate for that, they have, you got it, your photograph hanging in the background.

Indu’s daughter-in-law, Antonia Maino (also known as Sonia Gandhi) is a multi-billionaire. Mr Gandhi, you’d be proud of this lady! She was a dancer in a bar! She must have been a dancer par excellence to make the billions of dollars she has made! Once Indu’s son, Rajiv, died, she thought it best to keep control of the Indian National Congress (INC) close to the family and, ever since, the INC has been one happy family (owned business).

Mr Gandhi, you’d be extremely proud of Indu’s grandchildren. They take after their parents in most ways. In fact, the grand-daughter, Bianca, is walking around telling anyone that will listen, that she has a nose similar to Indu!! Her brother, Raul, has an intellect that is beyond compare. However, he was born in the wrong country (or maybe the wrong times). Had he been born in your time, you’d have made him Jawahar’s Education Minister. He probably would not have done the damage that was done by the then Education Minister, Abul Kalam Ghulam Muhiyuddin Ahmed bin Khairuddin Al-Hussaini Azad, a Saudi citizen who distorted Indian history. Raul would not have distorted history! For that, he’d need to have a deep knowledge of India! He sure does!!

Mr Gandhi, people question the luxurious “prison cells” that you and your favorite, Jawahar Lal Nehru, were lodged in while people like Savarkar and others were lodged in, what was then called, Kalapani. This is true and I’m sure you had your reasons, however unconvincing it may have been, for this. Where you could have asked for clemency for Shaheed Bhagat Singh and Sukhdev, you chose to keep quiet. I am sure you would have spoken up, had these two been a part of the Congress, but since they were not, they had to suffer. If only you’d asked for clemency, people would be praising you even more but if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

You’d be thrilled to know that non-violence was used by an American civil rights and liberties leader, Martin Luther King. Contrary to India, it actually worked here in the USA! While Martin Luther King was open about his entire background, I didn’t see that openness in your books. You talk about the Boer War and having participated in it, but from what I read, you looked like, what people now call, a despicable racist. Again, I am sure you have your reasons for calling the poor unfortunate blacks, subjugated to suffering the cursed Apartheid, as Negros.

Today’s India has, unfortunately, made a mockery of what you’d said about showing the other cheek when you were slapped on one cheek. The current Prime Minister, Narendra Modi, when slapped on one cheek, hits the slapper on both cheeks! What cheek!! Indian people, for whatever reason, seem to like this guy and his call for self-respect! We didn’t have any self-respect when you were alive, and yet, we had no issues with it! What’s so big about self respect anyway? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with groveling at the feet of white people, like you did!

In closing this letter, Mr Gandhi, I think we need someone to teach the current government to stop this development of the country and go back to the stone ages! Other countries respecting us is not as important as the current administration thinks! Till about 2014, that’s pretty much what Antonia Maino had ensured! You’d definitely have approved of her!!


जय श्रीराम। जय सीयाराम। उत्तिष्ठ भारत। जय माँ भारती

God Bless the USA.


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